My Story: From Betrayal to Breakthrough
For over three decades, I believed I was living the life I'd always wanted. I was married to my partner, we'd raised three wonderful sons together, and I'd built a fulfilling career. Our marriage wasn't perfect—no marriage is—but we had created something beautiful: a loving family, strong friendships, and a home filled with memories.
I was committed for the long haul. Through every challenge life threw our way, I stood by my husband's side, just as he stood by mine. Family was everything to me, and I believed we shared that same unwavering commitment to keeping our family together, no matter what.
But beneath the surface, cracks were forming that I couldn't yet see.
“it’s possible not just to survive spousal betrayal, but to emerge from it stronger, wiser, and more authentically yourself than you’ve ever been.”
When Everything Changed
Looking back, there were red flags I'd learned to ignore. The growing sense of insecurity, the feeling that somehow, despite our shared life, my husband always had one foot out the door. I told myself these were normal marriage struggles—things we could work through together. He went away a lot for work which often caused issues.
Then his behaviour began to change dramatically. He became erratic, unpredictable, and emotionally distant in ways that left me confused and questioning everything I thought I knew about our relationship. Business trips became more frequent. Conversations became more guarded.
Desperate to save what we'd built, I suggested couples therapy. We both attended sessions, but something felt wrong. His responses were evasive, his commitment to the process seemed hollow. He asked for breaks to "sort himself out," leaving and returning to our family home repeatedly, while refusing to answer basic questions about what he was doing or why.
When he continued to deny having an affair despite mounting evidence, I faced the most difficult decision of my life. I could no longer tolerate living in a constant state of uncertainty and emotional chaos. Though I still believed he might be having some kind of breakdown, and hoped we could remain a family even if our marriage ended, I made the heartbreaking choice to file for divorce.
The Truth Revealed
What I discovered later shattered everything I thought I understood about trust, commitment, and the person I'd shared my life with for over thirty years.
My husband hadn't been having a breakdown. He had been methodically planning a new life with another woman while pretending to work on our marriage. For years, he had lied to cover up his affair, sitting across from me in therapy sessions and family dinners, maintaining elaborate deceptions while I questioned my own reality.
Even when confronted with undeniable evidence, he refused to take accountability. There was no remorse, no acknowledgment of the pain he'd caused our family. Instead, he rewrote our history with the simple narrative that "we just grew apart"—casting himself as a victim of circumstance rather than the architect of our family's destruction.
Finding Strength in the Darkness
Spousal betrayal cuts deeper than almost any other kind of pain. It doesn't just break your heart—it can shatter your sense of reality, your trust in your own judgment, and your faith in love itself. I know because I lived through it.
But I also know something else: this kind of betrayal doesn't have to define you or destroy you.
Why I Do This Work
The journey from devastation to recovery taught me things about resilience, strength, and healing that I never could have learned any other way. I discovered that it's possible not just to survive spousal betrayal, but to emerge from it stronger, wiser, and more authentically yourself than you've ever been.
That's why I became a coach. Because I understand the specific kind of pain that comes with discovering the person you trusted most has been living a lie. I know what it feels like when your entire world shifts beneath your feet, when you question everything you thought you knew about your life and your relationships.
But most importantly, I know the path forward.
If you're reading this and recognising your own story in mine, please know: you are not broken. You are not naive. You are not responsible for someone else's choices to lie and betray.
What you are is strong enough to rebuild. Strong enough to heal. Strong enough to create a life that's more aligned with your true values and needs than you ever thought possible.
I'm here to help you find that strength and use it to create the next chapter of your story—one where you're the author, not the victim.
Ready to begin your journey from betrayal to breakthrough? Let's talk about how I can support you through this challenging but transformative process.
